The tale of my ascendancy to become the Ice Cream King is quite a long story, detailing the predecessors who came before me, my rise to the throne, and my accomplishments as a king. But seeing as how that’s kind of long and tedious, here’s the gist of what you need to know.
So What Is an Ice Cream King?
Woah, easy there. Before I can tell you what I am, I’ll first need to provide some context by telling you what an Ice Cream King is NOT. It’s not just the guy who can eat the most ice cream. No, if that were the case, then I’d probably be dethroned by a competitive hot dog eater of some sort. Also, to relay this back to Medieval times, the King wasn’t always the best fighter. Otherwise “The Mountain” would be ruling the iron throne… (not sure if that’s an appropriate analogy, but alas, close enough).
What the ice cream king also ISN’T, is the world’s greatest distinguisher of flavor profiles. Again, if this were to be the case, I’d probably be dethroned by a food critic or chef. Someone like Anthony Bordain (RIP). Again to relate this back to my Medieval example, if the King was the person who was simply the most knowledgeable, Verys would probably have ascended already.
Then What Does Make an Ice Cream King?
The real trait that qualifies an ice cream king is love. Love for this dessert- regardless of ingredients. It is love that allows you to eat above average amounts of ice cream. When you feel full, it’ll be love that finds that little extra bit of room to squeeze just a few more bites. When tasting a flavor in all its glory, it’s love that makes each flavor distinguishable, and allows you to experience the ice cream on a whole different level. It is a love for diversity; and a willingness to challenge the unknown instead of staying in our flavor comfort zone. Finally, you can tell it’s love when a person is given ice cream, and their face lights up like a small child- the wonder, excitement, anticipation, and pure joy, all bundled up into one face. These are the characteristics of the ice cream king, and what have lead me to my steel spoon throne.
This is the Ice Cream King. This is who I am and who I aspire to be each and every day as a king.
Oh yeah, and if you’re wondering about the get-up in the photo featured to the right, that wasn’t love that drove me to do that. No, it was stupidity that turned into a convenient photo when I began to make my website.
Contact The King
So now that you’re all caught up to speed on what it means to be me and why I am a king, I’m sure you are completely satisfied, and require no further explanation… I’m totally kidding here. I know it would take a lot more than a couple of paragraphs on a website to go through everything about my kingship. However, as some things are best when kept a secret, I’ll try and keep them a little closer to the chest. And by closer to the chest, I mean you’ll have to ask me yourself. Reach out to me via email at firstname.lastname@example.org or fill out the form on my contact page. If you ask the right questions, you may find the answers you seek.