Snoqualmie – French Lavender

Snoqualmie – French Lavender

Ranking in the Top 3 Worst Flavors

Snoqualmie French Lavender Pint of Ice CreamWait. A. Second. Top 3 worst flavors?!? Shouldn’t it be bottom 3 worst? Also, didn’t you say there’s a time and a place for every flavor? How can there possibly be a bottom 3 if you think every flavor is your favorite?

Ok, two things. One, as far as the worst flavors list goes, this is at the top. If it was the delicious flavors list, this would be at the bottom. Secondly, even an ice cream like this does have a time and a place. That time and place would of course be serving it to your enemies after an armistice dinner. You feel obliged to be a good host and serve them dessert, but not so much that you want to serve them your best stuff. No, you want to get in one final spur before bed, and make sure their lingering thoughts of were how you ever so politely screwed them in the ass.

And if you’re wondering where you can find such a diabolical dessert, this particular flavor was located in the freezer section of specific Vons and Albertsons in the South Bay of Los Angeles.

The French Lavender Connection

Since Snoqualmie did a great job with their Almond Poppyseed flavor (to be reviewed later), I thought it would be a good idea to try another one of their unique and obscure flavors.

I’m not sure what I was expecting when I bought this ice cream, but I will admit this flavor delivers exactly what the name implies. Imagine eating a bowl of creamy lavender potpourri and that is basically what you have here. With each scented bite, I imagine eating the frozen creamy corpse of my dead grandmother. To provide a little bit of context, my grandma was a tiny one legged lady who (we believe) was quite conscious of old person stank, and somewhat afraid of emitting it herself. As a result, she doused herself and her home in perfumes and potpourri. The images flooded my mind with each bite, and while I’m no quitter and did finish the pint, I’d be lying if I said I enjoyed the entire thing.

What worse is that the quality of the cream is mediocre at best, so it’s not like I can even fall back on silky quality to get me to the end. Overall, unless you want to eat an ice cream with frozen gogurt-like consistency, while smelling a bunch of lousy lavender air fresheners, I would not recommend buying this ice cream.

French Lavender Conclusion

I think lavender CAN be a good accent to ice cream. I don’t want you to leave this review thinking I hate all herbs and seasonings in ice cream. It’s just that this particular ice cream had far too much concentration of lavender, which ended up ruining the whole experience.



Tell me what you think!

I realize that review was kind of harsh. On the other hand, if you have other terrible flavors you want me to try and hope I torpedo, let me know that too. The people need to know about the bad stuff out there so they don’t ever fall into the trap of buying it. Send me a message on my contact page or via email, and I’ll be happy to get back to you.


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