Milkjam Creamery- Black

Minneapolis’ Darkest of Chocolates

Black is the name of a chocolate so dark, not even light can escape its surface. It swallows up the light and sweetness like a collapsed star- leaving us with the blackest of blacks and the bitterest of chocolates. Believe it or not, this photo is taken using the electromagnetic radiation filter, just so that we can detect its presence! Ok, those last few sentences may be a bit of a stretch, but I really do like these dark descriptions, despite the fact that ice cream is usually a pretty light topic.

I haven’t had a chocolate this dark since the Himalayan dark from Kippy’s during my ice cream cleanse. It’s dark, bitter, and at LEAST 80% dark cacao.

I said this during my ice cream cleanse and I’ll say it again, these types of chocolates are not for your run of the mill chocolate lovers. It’s for those truly dedicated to the cacao, and I’m not just talking about that weak ass milk chocolate; this is the big leagues, the heavy shit, the dark chocolate reserves that you include in a valentines day box of chocolates to show how cultured your punk ass is.

So if you ARE a cultured punk, will you like this ice cream? Truthfully it’s hard to say, and the reason is this. When your cultured punk ass buys a box of dark chocolates for your significant other, do they eat all chocolate at once? Unlikely. Perhaps it’s one or two pieces, and then they put the box away some other time. Those two pieces amount to maybe less than one ounce of dark chocolate (minus the nougat filling). These ice cream scoops are at least five times that. That’s four times as much bitter dark chocolate, without any chance for a palate cleansing (because the ice cream would melt otherwise).

Black Ice Cream Conclusion

In the end, I honestly think this is an amazing flavor to sample with the tiny spoons, but eating it as a full scoop is a mistake. At some point it stops becoming flavorful chocolate and just turns into bitterness. And sure, there are some people that thrive on bitterness (I weep for those people’s significant others). For those who do thrive in this regard, you’ll love Black. But for me, once I went black, I totally went back.

Think I was too Harsh with that Review?

If so, give me a piece of your mind. Say, “Hey! A lot of people like super dark chocolates, and I will fight you from a great distance behind a computer screen.”

To which I’ll reply… “Ok. You are entitled to your own opinion, and this king will not silence your ability to speak freely. Leave a comment below, or message me on my contact page and let me know what you think!”